Life Changing Advice…From a Three Year Old

He was just a little guy, around three years old.  He and his slightly older sister were the center of my universe and keeping them alive, fed, clothed, and loved was a job I took very seriously.  

One morning he rolled into the kitchen to tell me something that was important in his mind to share with his mom…me.  

As I wrestled with breakfast preparation I acknowledged him and kept on with the task of getting the kid kibble ready as he spoke.  That was when my three year old son taught me a very important skill.  He came to my side at the kitchen counter, gently tugged on my shirt and said, ‘Mom, Listen with your eyes.’  

Life. Changing.  

When a child speaks wisdom to us, it can be startling, unexpected, and unforgettable. 

Thirty seven years later, the lesson he taught me that morning in our kitchen still comes to my mind.  People are important.  We can make them feel valued by listening to them with our eyes

Picture our Great God, Who always takes time to hear us with His eyes.   Psalm 145:8 reminds me, ‘The Lord is gracious, kind and tender.’

The ‘Eyes’ Have It!

Are you saving on cosmetics these days? Depending on where I am going (or more likely, not going) on a particular day, my level of ‘making up type beautification’ is adjusted by what is visible. For instance, going for a walk in the great unmasked outdoors…I give it a light effort all over. Who knows? I might meet a neighbor on my route, and they might not recognize me if I roll out of the house ‘come as you are.’ But if I am going out to get groceries or some into some other ‘mask requested’ environment…the eyes get some extra love.  

Don’t care to start a fight here…really! For me, following the guidelines of wearing a mask when out in public is a courtesy to people I encounter. In my heart I feel it just one small way I can go the extra mile to show care and concern.  

Through all of this it has become clear just how important my eyes are in relating to people I see when I am out and about. With my smile covered up and my words muffled by my mask, it is all about what I say with my eyes. With a little extra effort, connecting with people through smiling eyes can be done. Seems that people are needing extra connection these days. That someone you encounter in the frozen foods may be having a lonely day.  

I dare you to stand in front of your bathroom mirror…you are there brushing your teeth anyway…and try smiling eyes. Go ahead…try it! See the difference? A great thought from Proverbs 15:30 says, “The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and good news refreshes the bones.”  And let’s face it, all our bones could use some refreshing just about every day! 

Where Do You Hide?

’Tis the season of window rattling, tree blowing, rain soaking summer storms.  Every afternoon plans are made only by checking the sky and the Weather Channel to see if there is an impending frog strangler.  One morning, after a particularly stormy evening before, I looked out my window to see this little hummingbird sitting happily on his guarding perch over his feeder…I say his feeder, because he is a tad protective of his favorite dining establishment.

As I watched him, I wondered where and how he had weathered such a severe storm.  Doing a little internet research revealed this interesting info from about these little dynamos:

Hummingbirds and hurricanes have been intertwined for hundreds of thousands of years. When bad weather hits, hummers hunker down as tightly as they can in the most sheltered place they can find, often in dense vegetation on the downwind side of a tree trunk. Their feet are very strong and can hold onto a twig very tightly when the wind blows.  

There’s more scientific information about how, in the heaviest rain, they can beat their wings even faster than when feeding, to distribute the water on their feathers so they will not be weighted down.

Put all of the hummingbird facts together and we come up with an amazingly protected little critter, even in the face of the fiercest storm.  What a great picture of the  Creator’s creativity and wisdom, wiring even the smallest of creatures to survive in the most challenging circumstances.  

Just like our winged friends, we are not immune to storms in our lives.   Beyond the raining, thundering kind, are the life storms that rock our world and threaten our grip.  There are so many references to the Father’s provision for us in these storms. King David spoke from his heart in Psalm 17:8 when he said “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings…”

Remember in Matthew 8 when Jesus calmed the storm and some very frightened disciples? So here’s our storm plan, found in  Psalm 57:1: “… for in You my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.”

If you are in a storm, it will not last forever!  God’s wings are big…so just scoot over, because there is plenty of room under here for both of us…all of us!  


Ooof! The sound I make when the breath is knocked out of me. Ask me how I know. OK, this is going to be humbling…as many of my escapades are. Just the other day, while visiting a home that was unfamiliar to me, my eyes and brain missed the important info that there’s a definite step up into the garage. Very important information! I headed in at full speed carrying something and just fell down flat…ooof!…knees, hands, face…in that order. It was spectacular! A face plant…my first since I was about two years old. Bystanders to my wipeout…family. Oh the humanity! Where do you start when picking up yourself from such a fabulous display of crashing and burning?

Now that I have some time to reflect on the moment, I have determined some very clear steps that I moved through shortly after I hit the concrete…the unforgiving concrete.

Shock. Pain. Fear. Getting back up. Evaluating the damage. Embarrassment. Beginning the repairs. Healing.

Now let’s sub an i for an l and talk about a ‘fail’ and just how, much like a ‘fall’, there are steps you have to take to get going forward again.

With both a fall and a fail, there’s that moment of shock…a ‘what happened, I didn’t see that coming, how did I get here?’ kind of feeling.

Then the shock dims just enough that the pain becomes the top reality. This hurts. I may have really damaged myself, and sometimes those who are aware of my fall/fail.

Next up, fear. Can I come back from this? Is it permanent?

Staying in the fallen, failed position is no good, so next comes getting back up. This is where bystanders, a.k.a. friends, family, people who care, haul me to my feet, rather than allowing me to remain face down in all my glory.

Whether it’s a fall or a fail, it’s time to evaluate the damage. Anything broken? Anyone broken? Any relationship broken? Is this a repair we can handle in house, or are we going to need outside assistance? A doctor, a counselor, a trusted friend?

When reality hits, it’s hard not to feel the ‘oh so human’ emotion…embarrassment. Really? I did that? You saw that? But I won’t spend much time here because I tend to do embarrassing stuff all the time. Ask my family.

Now let’s begin the repairs. Clean up. Ice it. Bandage up. Or in the fail scenario, apologize, rectify, clarify, and there’s a tendency to justify, but that’s probably the least helpful action I can take.

And now, for the longest of all the steps…healing. This is the place where patience is the helpful tool in both a fall and a fail. I can’t rush it. Just have to keep treating, caring for, waiting on things to get back to the place where I started…with a better eye towards the spot that tripped me up in the first place and how to avoid it.

Moving through the steps doesn’t get you clear of the fall/fail right away. There are always consequences to actions; physical, emotional, and spiritual. The pain hangs around longer than I would want. Embarrassment crops its head at inopportune times. The healing continues.

So what’s the upside to falling or failing? I’d hate to think it’s just for the pain of it all. But here’s some really great news from 2 Corinthians 1:4… “He (God) comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” Let’s get busy helping each other up!

P.S. I’m really ok! Thanks for checking.

Am I Doing This Right?

Being married to a former Consultant to the Surgeon General of the US Army in the area of Infection Control, I can promise you that we take the CDC guidelines very seriously around our house! I am schooled…oh, believe me! I am schooled in the appropriate way to wear the mask to achieve the desired benefits of protection for myself and others; nose covered,  mouth covered, and so on and so on.   But why, oh why, can I no longer see properly when I have the mask on?  It’s like I have the thing over my eyes!  I checked…and I really do NOT! 

I have a new found respect for daily mask wearers who have done so in their chosen healthcare field all their lives. Again…married to one of those!  However for those of us who are new to masking, vision impairment seems to be a real thing.

In my first foray into the grocery store since early March, I found myself sweating and hyperventilating a bit inside my mask around the paper products aisle.  Might have picked up a paper bag to put over my head, but I’m pretty sure they were out of them!

And having a bona fide hearing loss for many years, I’ve become accustomed to leaning in to better hear people and to watch their lips carefully.  Those tools are ‘out the window’ these days since I must not get into someone’s space and try to see what’s going on behind their mask. 

So if you see me out there, and I don’t see or hear you, feel free to shout out!  Like you, I’m adjusting…slowly, but surely!  And laughing at myself…a lot!

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Oops! Lost My Balance!

Usually, I move through my day with the grace and agility of a gazelle…pausing here for laughter…yours, if you know me!  From marinara sauce on my white shirt, to kicking table legs with my wayward toes, that’s the way I roll.  What I lack in fluid movement, I make up for with speed.  

Like many of you, social distancing, a.k.a. quarantining, has been the name of my game for weeks now, and actually the calendar says we can start counting it as ‘months’.  However, with an abundance of precautions in place…mask, hand sanitizer, and a healthy respect for the measurement of six feet…this week I ventured out to a store that had some items we required and could not have delivered.  

Everything went really well.  I never felt endangered by the people around me, most of whom were taking the same precautions.  I went.  I purchased.  I sanitized.  I returned home.  I sanitized again.  It went well.

Then I lost my balance.  It was an odd feeling, having been out and about after so long of being in and within.  I caught myself, safe and sound back home, feeling a great sense of something…loss…sadness…frustration…surprise at how the world had changed…  Not sure any of these words describe it, but it was real and it caused a sensation in my being that reminded me of losing my balance.  Like when you stand up too fast, or you forget to eat breakfast and it’s afternoon…my equilibrium just fled for a few minutes.  A perfectly normal activity, a quick shopping trip, felt so out of the norm.  What was up with that?  My spirit was a bit dizzy.

And just like that, balance was restored.  A ‘check in’ with someone who loves and understands me reminded me that we all are likely to feel a loss of balance in these extraordinary days. So if you start to lose your balance…there’s help in 1 Peter 5:7; “Give all your worries to Him, because He cares for you.” Gradually we will begin to move about our world more freely, though with changes, for sure.  And we will find our balance.  Again and again.  

I’m a Quitter!

Evidently, I am a quitter!  Something I never realized before…but this morning, after weeks and weeks of staying home and staying in and just…staying…I said “I quit!”  

For my QB (quarantine buddy), this whole unwanted adventure is a lark.  He is a happy camper just sticking around here, going from project to self directed project with occasional interaction with his fellow QB, me.  He is happy as a clam, a literal ‘in a shell on the bottom of the ocean’ clam. In fact, he says he has been in training for this his entire life!

I am a people person…family people, friends people, lunch pal people, shopping people, out and about people…all of that.  So this morning, I threw in the towel. Thus, the “Picture This” moment.  I sat having my breakfast yogurt and declaring I could not do this again today, let alone for many more weeks.   I quit!

Then I got myself dressed, ready for the day, made my bed, spent some time quietly contemplating God’s goodness to me…and I unquit.  Because I know this is what it takes to protect myself, my family, and others. I will stay home and stay in and just stay…for as long as it takes.  

Hebrew 12:1 challenges me with “…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” The verse continues with “looking to Jesus”.  So I did.  And you can, too.  Maybe it’s ok to quit, as long as we remember to unquit, too. See you at the finish line…whenever and wherever that may be!

This Way? That Way?

So here we all are, walking down an unfamiliar path, but of course, safely distanced from each other!   We remember where and when we got on the path, but looking ahead, it isn’t clear where the path is leading or how long it will take to travel the length of it.  Our perspective is somewhat limited by the fact that our view is from the position we hold, walking along with our feet touching the ground beneath us.

On this particular path that is pictured, if I choose to climb one of the tall trees along either side, (don’t hold your breath…put your iPhone away…that’s not going to happen so there’s no photo op coming up!) my perspective totally changes.  From above I would see clearly that this path leads to a picnic table by a dock on the river, then bends and takes me out into the bright sunshine of a place that is much more familiar.  

So while we walk on… on this path, trust and hope are the name of the game.  Romans 15:13 says “May the God who gives hope fill you with great joy. May you have perfect peace as you trust in Him…”

The Father is seeing all that’s going on from a very different perspective…a perspective that can see the beginning, the end, and all the steps in between.  Keep on the path…you’re getting somewhere!

Be This Guy!

Right now there seems to be a bunch of rocks in our path!  Stay home.  Don’t gather.  Don’t touch.  Keep away. 

And the more challenging ‘don’ts’…Don’t worry. Don’t be afraid. Don’t panic.  (It would help if it wasn’t called a ‘pandemic’…I mean, panic seems to be built into the name of the thing! ) 

But for today, do what you know you are supposed to do to keep yourself and your fellow beings well and safe. Call. Write. Wave. Pray. Love from a distance. And do it with some joy!  After all,  “…God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7”


Flowers vs. Thorns

One of my favorite social distancing explores takes me down by the Savannah River, where everything’s beginning to wake up and turn green. There is a very curious plant that grows wild along the path. It has beautiful white flowers nestled against the toughest green two inch thorny spikes you can imagine. The familiar name for the plant if Crown of Thorns.

The thorns could be the overwhelming feature of this plant, if one isn’t willing to look beyond them at the flowers. Another observation on that same walk…my neighbors…all choosing flowers in the middle of the thorns. Here they are, with their normal lives turned upside down, keeping themselves to home and family, and doing a great job of it!

Flowers amid thorns I saw on my walk? Two sister riding bikes around their driveway. A dad watching two littles play with bubbles as they laughed and run about. A family outside; dad and daughter drawing with chalk on the driveway while mom and big sister shoot hoops. Another dad running with his two young sons, slowing his pace to make it a together activity. Two teenage sisters washing the family car. No one I met (from a distance) complained about the situation. Instead, they were looking at the positives by making this time count.

What flowers you’re finding? Learning to cook something new? Straightening out the kitchen junk drawer? Weeding the flower beds? Writing notes to friends? Checking in virtually on the people who need your attention? Spending focused time with your living companions? Psalms 133:1 says “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in peace!” So, in the middle of some thorny times, get out there and find the flowers!